$10 for the taller pair
Writing hand carved mother of pearl writing quill. I have no history on this one. Other than it's hand carved and astonishingly beautiful.
Sitting here eating my Chicken Sante Fe sandwich from Starbucks accompanied with a tall pumpkin spice steamer I contemplate everything at once.
I want to go school. What if I fail? What if I don't want to help people? What if it costs so much money and I can't pay it back? That's it right there. What if I can't pay it back?
I have to.
Where does this come from? My chronic disease, past life poverty and my chronic pain to name a few factors of the fear.
What does this freedom bring?
More time to manage all of the above and get so good at it that it doesn't matter.
Create more art.
Be a better blogger.
That was always the goal when I started this blog, to be a better writer. Write more, create more and share more of what I do.
I think I can do some of that now. :-)
Well I'm unemployed.
I'm going back to school.
I have goals.
I can do this.
A little over two months ago I had the agony of 10 years surgically removed. I am not recommending this surgery for everyone just sharing my experience. See I thought if I toughed it out South Philly style I could just power through the pain. I could walk off the weight I put on through the years of too much pain today I’ll walk tomorrow. I had countless hours of physical therapy and even 3 different cortisol shots. In the end powering through bone spurs herniated discs just weren’t the way to go. I learned a lot about myself on this road of trials.
Now in less than 3 weeks I’ll see the guy about my neck. Dr Lu. Dr Lu is an amazing spinal surgeon. He understands the spine like no one I’ve ever met. I didn’t feel comfortable until now trusting anyone with my neck vertebras. I know if one of them is touched the wrong way I’m paralyzed for life. I emotionally couldn’t handle that.
Honestly I can’t wait to return to photography. I miss it a lot. I miss doing a lot of my life. Walking has improved the quality of my life and no pain, happy dance. Oh yeah and I can dance again, from the waist down. Hahaha. I hope my neck is fixed and the constant numbness goes again, along with the pressure and exhaustion. That would just rock my world.
I have a lot left to do in this world. ;-)
These last few weeks have been an extrem challenge to say the least . I had lower back surgery to help reduce the constant pain in my legs and lower back.
I feel like this in combination with walking and physical therapy I will reduce the pain significantly.
I'd like to hurry up and get the neck done this year because I don't want to have to pay this kind of money for surgery again.
I could have a convection wall mounted oven top of the line that I could make mouth watering dishes with.
I try not to think about what I could have. Instead I am focusing on the positive.
My toes don't feel like they are constantly being stuck with pins and needles.
My hips are still having issues and after talking with the spinal doc I know it's because of a weak core.
What does all of this have to do with food?
Let me tell you.
My wonderful sweet husband and oldest son don't understand how important organic, low sodium soup is to me.
After surgery, anyone who has been through this can tell you the same thing, your tummy is all wonky so soup, yogurt and easy foods make everything better.
Before surgery I made a weeks worth of veggie soup with a pinch of barely for some gerth.
On side note I'm finding organic local gluten items like barley don't affect me like the mass production products.
Back to the soup, after I finished making it, I divided it into as many servings as I had those awesome freezer to microwave glass dishes by Anchor something. I made it a week on crackers, yogurt, and soup.
I saw the doc today. I found out walking is good. The fatigue will slowly go away, hopefully this cold will to.
I'm starting to think about whole meals again.
I'm pulling out the cook books today to plan a few meals.
Wish me luck
You know when social media boomed in the beginning I wanted to be apart of the party and opened an account on each platform. After trying and not succeeding, beating myself up often, I've decided to reduce social media activities, spend more time learning stuff I want learn and making art.
Also I'm going to condense all of my blogs to one, this one.. yay..